It is not a possibility but a fact that when two or more people are sharing the same residence, no matter how they love or respect each other, there will be times when arguments arise. However it is not the fact that there are disagreements which matters but rather the way in which we choose to handle them that matters and makes the difference.
Is it not strange how far too often people will treat absolute strangers better than they choose to treat their own family members? This is often due to the fact that we simply allow ourselves to think that our loved ones will understand us and accept the way in which we choose to handle arguments, but in reality this is not the case at all and when adopting this attitude, we often hurt the ones we love the most.
I personally choose another route which is that of applying the Kaizen Principle to every aspect of my life including my relationships with my loved ones and home life. I make it my personal quest to be sure that every day I am taking at least one step forward towards making my home life as harmonious and happy as I possibly can and by doing this my personal relationships with my family will continue to improve and strengthen on a daily basis.
When one is seeking a life of abundance in all areas of your life as I teach my Kaizen Wealth Students, then your wheel of life needs to be balanced and growing on a daily basis in all seven of the areas of your life.
The best way to begin to rid your home of arguments is in fact to begin by avoiding them in the first place and the best way that I know of to avoid arguments in the home is to avoid miscommunication as by doing this you will not be entering into unnecessary disagreements which could possibly have been avoided should you all have been able to understand what the other is saying correctly right from the beginning.
Here are a couple of communication tips which might help you and those you share your home with to avoid misunderstanding which might be leading to arguments:
- Tone of voice and body language – By simply taking aggression or confrontation out of your tone of voice and body language when you feel strongly about something or do not agree with what is happening or being said will make a great difference when it comes to a simple disagreement and something developing into a full blown argument. Try to be more relaxed and gentle in your approach as much as possible.
- Keep lines of communication open – Always try to listen effectively to what it is which your other family members are saying and learn to trust one another and give each other the benefit of the doubt, if a family member comes to you and tries to tell you something, let them finish and then support them rather than going off at them if it is something which upsets you personally. At least this way they will know that they can speak to you about anything and the bonds of trust and communication will be far stronger.
- Keep the disagreements to those concerned – If you and your spouse are having a disagreement, keep it between the two of you as involving the entire family serves no good if it does not concern them and breaks down the moral of the entire family as a unit. I guess what I am saying here is try not to argue in front of the children when the argument does not concern them.
Effective ways to handle arguments when they do occur so that they do the least damage:
- Take a breather – If you see that the argument is becoming too emotional or heated learn to take a breather by stopping the argument before insults begin to fly which leave long term scars which nobody needs. Stop the argument and agree to talk about it again in a few minutes, but let all parties concerned simply take a few minute to think about what has been said in peace and quiet and regain composure.
- Accept that you might be wrong sometimes – While taking your breather think about all that has been said, not only what the other person has said, but also what you have said and how you said it, be honest with yourself and be willing to see that you may have been wrong and have said hurtful things in the heat of the moment.
- Learn to say sorry – Learning to say sorry is very important as it helps to defuse and shorten a lot of unnecessary arguments, if you realize that you might have hurt someone in any way during the argument, be man enough to apologize as this helps to heal the hurt that was caused and helps them and you to be able to forgive and forget.
- Analyze the argument – Sometimes arguments are not a result of something which you did but rather a sign that the other person is hurting, always try to recognize this aggression for the other emotion which drives aggression being hurt, their lashing out at you might be nothing more than a cry for help.
- Remember the love – Remember above all that you actually love this person and no matter what the argument is about which you are having, you are together because you love each other and your main goal should not be to win the argument, but rather to get the conflict solved in the most peaceful way you can for it to be a win-win situation for all involved.
- Forgiveness – When you have resolved the argument, be sure to forgive one another and accept that the problem has been solved and then forget it and move on, bearing grudges and bringing up past arguments will never have a beneficial result on any relationship.
One last thought in this regard is that you hold in your hands the choice whether you will argue or not, if you choose not to argue back and remain calm but still quietly get your point across, you will very often find that the argument will more often than not just die down and fade away.
These are but a few bits of advice as to how you can begin to defuse or decrease the arguments in your home and if applied correctly will have a great effect so as to bringing harmony and happiness into your home. Should you feel you have something to contribute in this regard, please take the time to simply leave a comment in the comment section.